Prepare To Fly

The news just gets more absurd with each passing day.  Whether it's a heated debate over Beyonce lip synching her inaugural performance of the national anthem or just some goofy thing that happened on a plane bound for New Zealand, guaranteed there's no shortage of ridiculous slow news day fodder.

On a recent flight from Australia to New Zealand a man boarded a Qantas plane wearing this t shirt which sports the most famous and quotable line from the movie "The Princess Bride". 

When interviewed later he said he threw the shirt on because he had nothing else to wear.  Some of his fellow passengers complained that the shirt made them feel threatened and uncomfortable, so they enlisted the help of a flight attendant. 

I know we're all more sensitive to our surroundings since 9/11 and in this age of 24 hour news outlets that report every horrible, nutty occurrence on the planet in great detail, it seems like it's happening more than ever before.  The truth is, we just hear about these things more given the aforementioned onslaught of easily accessible media.  Weird, deviant, horrible things have happened since the dawn of time and sadly always will.  9/11 being perhaps the pinnacle of horrific and surreal, so it's understandable that even now, we're hesitant when we board a plane.  But for the love of Goddess, people, this is taking it a little too far.  The t shirt clad offender thought it was amusing as did the guy sitting next to him who knew the movie.  And so do I.

The flight attendant asked him repeatedly to remove the shirt.  Now tell me which is weirder - a shirtless dude sitting next to you on a plane or a guy with a t shirt bearing an iron on image of a fake "Hello" name tag that you think may or may not mean he's looking to avenge his father.  Are you kidding me?  How much kangaroo juice have these people been guzzling?

He didn't remove the shirt.  And somehow, even though airline regulations call for the immediate removal of anyone who appears threatening to his fellow passengers, he remained on the flight.

The flight attendant, however,  avoided him for the remainder of the flight.  Seriously?  Did that bitch really give him the cold shoulder because he refused to go shirtless?  Maybe ask him to wear it inside out.  Or maybe take his word for it when he tells you it's a quote from a movie.  Where was Google in all of this?  An answer is a mere search engine away.  

"See?  It's a character from a movie.  See that he looks like he's from a completely different time period and he's got a sword in his hand?  See the quote?"  Eyes would dart from Google to shirt, Google, shirt, Google, shirt.  Light bulbs would go on.  

Sheesh.  Lighten up people.  Frankly, I think we're all losing it.  We're being frisked, going shoeless, having full body scans.  When are the body cavity searches coming?  I need to know so I can do a good Vagisil scrub up before hand.  (See what I did there?  Before...hand??)  And what's the dress code?  If I go on a cruise wearing a "Pirates of the Caribbean" t shirt, are people gonna think I'm a swash buckling pirate ready to pillage and take command of the ship?  Are they gonna make me walk the plank?

I guess the only sensible solution would be to remove the offending garb upon request.  It wouldn't be pretty.  And I'm not sure which would be more offensive to my fellow passengers. But I don't like to make waves.  So if it ever happens, I'll just smile and say...

"As you wish."